Actually I gave the solution away in the title already, but here's a little pre-story: Tim Ferris once stated (either in his book 4HWW or on his blog) that we should go ahead and choose very high goals, because nobody else dares to aim that high and we'll therefore have less competition. His canonical example is horny men trying to hook up with pretty girls, but not daring to approach the most stunning beauties of all. Therefore, he claims, anybody who seriously and competently hits on that person, will have higher than average success. But I think this is quite wrong, since the very definition of attractive appearance in those circles is that it attracts a lot of people, including unfortunately for everybody in the game some delusional losers who don't even know how to talk to other people and even less so when they are horny. As a consequence, the most desirable women can sometimes by quite annoyed by those people and therefore much more reserved and selective, which in turn makes them less fun to talk to. Additionally, since attraction is by definition hard to ignore, there are probably a few actually nice and very sociable men who set their eyes on the princesses of this world, so no matter how much competition there is, it will be much tougher.
But let's talk any further about the wrong approach to life, when the right one is so close. Like Tim Ferris, I believe that most people can actually aim much higher than they do and achieve their goals (without totally exhaust themselves in the process). The key is, in fact, very simple: don't choose competitive goals! Most people simply fall victim to the imitation bias and want things that other want, too, and if this thing happens to be a limited resource, then there will of course be competition and it will take much effort to win and with every winner, there will be losers, but losers might try again later, so more effort will be spent on all sides. A lot of books have been written about this, how to compete, how to convince, how to sell, and it will never be enough, since the competition obviously reads the same books, too.
On the other hand, if you and other people want something that you all can have and losslessly share, without anybody else losing it (or something else of similar value), then you'll probably get it pretty easily if you do it right and much importantly, it will get easier with time (because you improve) instead of harder (because their is no competition).
So the solution for the goal dilemma is simply this: choose altruistic goals and you can win really big without having to dispense superhuman effort. Creating win-win situation enables you to accomplish things that you will be really proud of, even surprised that you can do it.
Simplifying a theory by Martin Seligman, I think that human happiness is a combination of pleasure (think "sex on the beach", be it the cocktail or the real thing), flow (doing something really fun, which uses your skills and strengths, no matter if it's useful work or you do it just for fun), and finally accomplishment. The great thing about audacious goals is that they can focus your learning and doing in a way that creates flow and is also positively challenging, while at the same time, the accomplishment will be really meaningful and provide you with an emotional bonus that you can build on to do even more terrifying stuff (and have more fun in the process).
As the most basic example of win-win, consider investing more time into friendships and get less heated up about the dating game. Friendships (except for exclusive concepts like "one and only best friend for life forever") are win-win arrangements by their very nature. Friendships benefit you, your friends, and also your other friends and friends of friends because like-minded people tend to cluster together and thus meet more like-minded people.
Another basic example is to focus less on making money once you have enough to afford the basic necessities of life and all the simple pleasures. Think of mixing your cocktail yourself instead of buying it in an exclusive bar. Remember that making stuff is fun -- it creates happiness in and of itself.
Here's a stunning insight: Studies show that the happiness of people in developed nations did not increase in the last decades although their monetary wealth increased a lot. More intriguingly in another study, people in different countries were asked what level of income they thought would be sufficient for them to lead a happy, normal life, being able to afford all the things they really want (but not useless luxuries). The values seemed to be consistent in each countries, but different when comparing different countries, so the researchers concluded that this "happiness income" is probably influenced by culture. But there's one thing the researches didn't see: the happiness income was actually the same in all those countries after normalizing with the average income of each country. It turns out that people quite consistently think they will just need a little more than the average! And of course, this goal can never reached by all people! It is a win-loss game which makes us all work harder, pushes the economy forward, creates inflation, furthers consumerism and materialism... but it does not make people more happy.
Now, I don't want to talk anybody out of having a great career, especially in a field that creates a lot of value for humanity while still creating a big paycheck for you. But remember that your personal scale of accomplishment money-wise is anchored at the industrial average... which goes up just as you are trying to beat it. Surprise victories might happen, but they will not be big and maybe not lasting either. If, however, you focus on other goals, think win-win, you're much more likely to be surprised by your own success.
Showing posts with label leadership. Show all posts
Showing posts with label leadership. Show all posts
9 July 2013
15 March 2013
Meine Erfahrungen: wie man gute Meetings abhält
Notwendigkeit
- Kein Meeting ohne Ziel!
- Können wir es auch im direkten Gespräch (nur zwei Personen) klären?
- Können wir es auch klären, indem eine Person mit mehreren anderen direkte Gespräche führt? Und danach allen die Zusammenfassung schickt. Oder noch besser: ins Wiki!
- Können wir es auch per Email klären?
Meeting-Junkies fürchten viele Einzelgespräche, weil sie meinen, dass dann jeder auf einem anderen Stand sein könnte. Die Einzelgespräche sind aber so oder so notwendig, denn je größer das Meeting wird, desto weniger Leute können effektiv reden und brauchen also trotzdem noch die Einzelgespräche vor- und nachher.
Vorbereitung
- Ziele, Agenda, Moderationstechniken, Raum/Technik, benötigte Daten/Informationen
Durchführung
- Pünktlich kommen.
- Moderieren, Agenda/Entscheidungen vorantreiben.
- Andere ausreden lassen.
Nachbereitung
- Protokoll im Wiki und per Mail an alle Teilnehmer und Betroffenen.
- Entscheidungen nennen und relevante Argumente.
- Action-Items und verantwortliche Personen.
Literatur
- http://www.businessweek.com/stories/2006-12-10/online-extra-how-to-kill-meetings
- http://www.forbes.com/sites/trishgorman/2012/03/26/weve-got-to-stop-meeting-like-this-7-reasons-to-cancel-your-next-meeting/
31 July 2009
How to cook a meal for one-hundred people (and actually feed ninety-five).
Last week I was kitchen lead for the Hot Yam! and here is my experience report.
Short version:
Take a recipe which you like and which you think more people should taste. For me this was "Stewed Taro with Green Onions" which I had discovered after falling in love with taros in Taiwan.
For all other meal components, take some recipes which you liked from previous meals (they should be on the blog). Replace as many ingredients as you can by seasonal things.
Write a shopping list and be around all day so volunteers can ask you questions. They know by themselves how to do all the things needed to make a meal, likely even better than you do.
Long version:
Here are some of the troubles I ran into, some tips, and finally a list of ingredients which I think made up the final meal. (But I am not sure about the details of it.)
My zeroth mistake (before even starting, that is) was to not ask for directions to the Farmer's Market on time. I was saved because one of the volunteers who came shopping knew the location.
My first mistake was to take a recipe off the Hot Yam! blog without checking the numbers. In June, we only cooked for about 50 to 60 people and I was planning for a hundred. Fortunately the recipe was for our dessert and I had bought enough peaches for the crisp and could run and get more of the other stuff, too. So we didn't manage to bake the dessert on the evening before, but we had it all ready to bake in the fridge and it took us almost no extra time to deal with in the morning.
My second mistake was not to check with my lovely volunteers whether they had actually bought all the things on the shopping list. In the case of lentils we had wisely foreseen that the store might not have enough on display and told the shoppers to ask the clerks for refills from the back. But apparently the back of store also ran out and I noticed the lack of lentils only in the early morning when cooking them. In the end, it turned out that having 17 cups of lentils instead of 25 was not much of a problem, but it made me feel that our success was more due to luck than due to skill.
My third mistake was to have three people peel and mince garlic for two hours. Maybe it was less than six person-hours spent on this, but I think that it was a bit of a waste of time, given that there were lots of other things to do. When some of the people had to leave and the garlic was still not done, we just chopped it up coarsely which was good enough for the meal.
My fourth mistake was to give somebody a laborious job and tell him to grab more help once more people showed up. Half an eternity later, he was still doing it by himself and not much advanced, while other people were standing around looking for work.
My fifth mistake was to do things by myself instead of helping people do things. Sometimes I was too busy to know what's going on in the kitchen at large. Also, it's not fun to work by myself when others are working together and happily chat while they do it.
Now here come the recipes: For the stew, I bought 27 lbs of taro of which we had to throw one or two away because it didn't meet our high quality standards. For garlic and green onions I don't know how much we actually had. The soy sauce was added to our taste; it was less than a bottle
The salad was planned for 100, we sold about 74 and I think with the volunteer meals, the recipe yielded about 90 to 95 servings. (At one point, we made the salad servings bigger, because it seemed we had more salad than soup, so there is no fixed measure of what a serving is. Feeds any number from 60 hungry people to 120 dieting ones.)
Ingredients:
(Except for the onions, I bought all the herbs and veggies myself and the numbers are correct. For the onions, 10 is the number from the shopping list and I only saw them when they were chopped up. Also don't know if it was big or small ones. If recipes really mattered, we should go by weight for everything but liquids!)
7 cups of green lentils (cooked)
10 cups of red lentils (cooked, note: cooks faster than the green ones)
10 onions (marinated in salt overnight, which --as I once read-- makes the softer)
and all those things fresh from the Farmer's Market at Bloor and Borden streets:
5 bunches of coriander (cilantro)
5 bunches of arucula
4 or 5 bunches of basil
4 bunches of oregano
4 FMB green beans
3 FMB red tomatoes
3 FMB yellow tomatoes
4 bunches of baby carrots
dressing:
freshly squeezed lemon juice (we had about net of lemons that did not give much juice)
less than a bottle of olive oil
other things which only the dressing-making volunteer knows and which might include some apple cider vinegar which I put on her counter.
Personally I was not much involved in making the salad. Maybe that's why I liked the salad most of all meal components.
As a bonus, I conclude my reflections with a list of most memorable moments:
Short version:
Take a recipe which you like and which you think more people should taste. For me this was "Stewed Taro with Green Onions" which I had discovered after falling in love with taros in Taiwan.
For all other meal components, take some recipes which you liked from previous meals (they should be on the blog). Replace as many ingredients as you can by seasonal things.
Write a shopping list and be around all day so volunteers can ask you questions. They know by themselves how to do all the things needed to make a meal, likely even better than you do.
Long version:
Here are some of the troubles I ran into, some tips, and finally a list of ingredients which I think made up the final meal. (But I am not sure about the details of it.)
My zeroth mistake (before even starting, that is) was to not ask for directions to the Farmer's Market on time. I was saved because one of the volunteers who came shopping knew the location.
My first mistake was to take a recipe off the Hot Yam! blog without checking the numbers. In June, we only cooked for about 50 to 60 people and I was planning for a hundred. Fortunately the recipe was for our dessert and I had bought enough peaches for the crisp and could run and get more of the other stuff, too. So we didn't manage to bake the dessert on the evening before, but we had it all ready to bake in the fridge and it took us almost no extra time to deal with in the morning.
My second mistake was not to check with my lovely volunteers whether they had actually bought all the things on the shopping list. In the case of lentils we had wisely foreseen that the store might not have enough on display and told the shoppers to ask the clerks for refills from the back. But apparently the back of store also ran out and I noticed the lack of lentils only in the early morning when cooking them. In the end, it turned out that having 17 cups of lentils instead of 25 was not much of a problem, but it made me feel that our success was more due to luck than due to skill.
My third mistake was to have three people peel and mince garlic for two hours. Maybe it was less than six person-hours spent on this, but I think that it was a bit of a waste of time, given that there were lots of other things to do. When some of the people had to leave and the garlic was still not done, we just chopped it up coarsely which was good enough for the meal.
My fourth mistake was to give somebody a laborious job and tell him to grab more help once more people showed up. Half an eternity later, he was still doing it by himself and not much advanced, while other people were standing around looking for work.
My fifth mistake was to do things by myself instead of helping people do things. Sometimes I was too busy to know what's going on in the kitchen at large. Also, it's not fun to work by myself when others are working together and happily chat while they do it.
My only advice is what I think is the most important function of the leader: make sure that nothing that needs to be done is forgotten and make sure that new volunteers learn enough to be productive helpers.
Now here come the recipes: For the stew, I bought 27 lbs of taro of which we had to throw one or two away because it didn't meet our high quality standards. For garlic and green onions I don't know how much we actually had. The soy sauce was added to our taste; it was less than a bottle
The salad was planned for 100, we sold about 74 and I think with the volunteer meals, the recipe yielded about 90 to 95 servings. (At one point, we made the salad servings bigger, because it seemed we had more salad than soup, so there is no fixed measure of what a serving is. Feeds any number from 60 hungry people to 120 dieting ones.)
Ingredients:
(Except for the onions, I bought all the herbs and veggies myself and the numbers are correct. For the onions, 10 is the number from the shopping list and I only saw them when they were chopped up. Also don't know if it was big or small ones. If recipes really mattered, we should go by weight for everything but liquids!)
7 cups of green lentils (cooked)
10 cups of red lentils (cooked, note: cooks faster than the green ones)
10 onions (marinated in salt overnight, which --as I once read-- makes the softer)
and all those things fresh from the Farmer's Market at Bloor and Borden streets:
5 bunches of coriander (cilantro)
5 bunches of arucula
4 or 5 bunches of basil
4 bunches of oregano
4 FMB green beans
3 FMB red tomatoes
3 FMB yellow tomatoes
4 bunches of baby carrots
dressing:
freshly squeezed lemon juice (we had about net of lemons that did not give much juice)
less than a bottle of olive oil
other things which only the dressing-making volunteer knows and which might include some apple cider vinegar which I put on her counter.
Personally I was not much involved in making the salad. Maybe that's why I liked the salad most of all meal components.
As a bonus, I conclude my reflections with a list of most memorable moments:
- my first taste of the salad when I got my full plate served by one of our lovely volunteers.
- the scent of oregano and basil when I bought them and later every time I passed by the herbal volunteers just to take another fresh breath.
- me in tears, handing back the unknowingly thrown away onion bottoms to Kira. I felt so sorry for my unqualified messing with her job. (But the tears were due to the frying of garlic.)
- stewing the taro with Keith.
- finding a job assignment that did not involve Giovanna washing anything.
- Guru's smiling face and bright eyes when we went to the farmer's market. (Totally justifying the twisted reasoning I had to make up to justify her coming with me and the men going to Kensington market.)
- full opportunity to engage with my most-loved job at the Yam: scraping the bottoms of the dessert-pans.
Behind the curtain: Me and Giovanna in a heated debate. "Everything went wrong! We did not have enough lentils, the crisp recipe was not right, this is lacking organization."
- "No, I think you are doing great."
At this point one of our patrons walked up to us: "I just want to say that I am coming here often and this was one of the best meals that I had for a while. It was really delicious."
Giovanna: "There you go."
me: "Maybe you are right."
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